Sunday, May 28, 2017

Marriage- disentangling its layers

Most of our friends are getting married 💑.  Now a days marriage word intimidates me because of underpinned responsibilities come up with it. You loose your 'negative freedom' but  yes dimension of 'positive freedom' increases in terms of familial duties which help increase bigger responsibilities u once desired to take. 
We,  in indian society, take marriage as a very sacrosanct institution because of trust we pose in it. It opens a new vista to let you feel true human in terms of running a family as an institution, a microcosm of bigger institution like state. 
Marriage is such a used/ misused word since our childhood that in every second instance we invoke it,  like I ll marry u with that jumbo lady or that nose blowing fellow if u ll not comply me. Such instances we heard/faced since our childhood but as we grew , we became conscious about this. I think we, in general. as  a conservative(our uniqueness) indian society always keep marriage at  the highest pedestal n that is why we are quite possessive about our preferences. It is another matter our preferences also change as we develop n get broader picture of  humanity/society. 
However, common observation I make. whenever we fall in love, we think about marriage but we forget that our communitarian Indian values see marriage not an individual act. Its multi layered process which culminates when each stakeholder too gets wedded with corresponding one. Chetan Bhagat in his "Two States" righty writes in India boy likes girl n vice-versa, boy's  family likes girl's family n vice-versa, then there takes place a consensus based, sustainable n democratic marriage 💑.
 Yes, it is ensured  that entire process be imbued with love, mutual respect n innumerable traditional ceremonial steps. Nevertheless, there have been many degenerations n hence, a lot of undesirable development to trivialize marriage as a sacred institution. 
However, good development is in terms of  mutiple permutation n combination of mechanisms like love cum arrange, arrange cum love, only arrange, only love, inter/intra caste, religion, ethnicity,race,linguistic, then hetro/homo, celibacy, divorce decision to be alone at later stage of life. Despite such developments no one can escape the marriage n in fact we as an "adult in shaping" always keep on dreaming consciously or subconsciously about it. I wonder what would be going in one's mind who is about to make. I recall ,in childhood, I was quite shy( n still I am) n used to think how will I perform all ceremonies before everyone, ye mujhse na ho payega sort. Now when I see my friends are doing easily, I feel I too can( media v bula lunga😄)... Anyway, even without feeling the moment I can sense  that couple in making would have a lot of dreams to live lives ahead very beautifully.

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